Things I've Learned About Florida

Possums sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air.

There are 5000 types of snakes, and 4998 live in Florida.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Florida, plus a
couple that nobody has seen before.

Squirrels will eat anything.

Unknown critters love to dig holes under tomato plants.

Raccoons will test your crop of melons and let you know when they are
ripe.

If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites.

A tractor is NOT an all-terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy.

Fire ants consider your flesh as a picnic.

People actually grow and eat okra.

Fixinto is one word.

There ain't no such thing as "lunch." There's "dinner" and then there's
"supper."

Sweet tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when
you're two.

Backards and forwards means, "I know everything about you."

Jeet? is actually a phrase meaning "Did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is.


You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

More about Florida....


You know you're from Florida if:
1. You measure distance in minutes.
2. You've ever had to switch from heat to air conditioning in the same
day.
3. You see a car running in a store parking lot with no one in it no
matter what time of the year.
4. You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixinto go to the store.
5. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit,
vegetable, grain, insect or animal.
6. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both
unlocked.
7. You carry jumper cables in your car... for your OWN car.
8. You know what "cow tipping" is.
9. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete and catsup.
10. The local papers cover national and international news on one page
and six pages for local gossip and sports.
11. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit "a little warm."
12. You know all four seasons: almost summer, summer, still summer, and
Christmas.
13. Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past time known as "Goin' wal-martin"
or "Off to ' Wally World'."
14. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop...it's a Coke,
regardless of brand or flavor. Example: "What kinna coke you want?"
15. Fried Catfish is the other white meat.
16. You understand these and forward them to your friends from Florida
(and those who just wish they were).